Melzie & Co.

Being reasonably healthy.  Myself & my family.  Doctor visits happen almost monthly, but for once over's to be sure all is still semi-well. 

For having a secure job, where even when my husband is out of work, I can keep our family floating.  There is much peace in my mind because of this... especially where I live in an area where my ward family finds it so bizzare that I don't stay home. 

Strength.  Sometimes my mind, sometimes my body, sometimes my faith.  But I am grateful that every day, some form of my strength manifests itself.

My family... both immediate, extended & adopted.  Not always do  we have contact with one another, and sometimes we got weeks without talking... some of them it's been years and years- but we finally have a bridge that is building.  There is "new" family that I've met, old family that I've not seen since I was 4 yrs old, and of course the family that I have because of my 11 year old.  I love you all & am thankful you are in my life, as much or as little as you/I can be.

Heather & Russ.  That we have a friendship.  I love that & am so thankful.  I never say it- I'd probably cry if I did.  But, I am grateful every day that we are what we are, and because of that this fabulous boy we share knows that love really can conquer anything. 

Friends.  I have a small handful of close friends.  I love them all!!  One from first grade, another from 8th, then there is college and my most favorite visiting teacher ever.... I count you all as my best friends.  I wish miles didn't separate us, but I feel connected and pray for you each day.

For being a mom.  I never knew if I would be.  Now, I'm not sure if I will ever get the chance again.  Which makes my 11 year old the most priceless child ever.  Because of him I know so much, risk so much, love so much.  I really do know what it's like to watch your heart dancing around on the outside.

This is such a small list... but my heart is seriously full. 

This is going to be my new motto.  Love it.

For years and years I've wondered.  I have so many memories & pictures that help remind me those memories were real.  Yesterday I made the connection with one of those voices from the past.  It was quick, the lunch bell was about to ring & I had to go.  The picture made me smile- he looks different than I remember.  But then again, he asked if I was still that skinny little girl with knobby knees.

There was a piece connecting us I chose to have no contact with.  Because of this, so much was lost.  However, there are many blessings to come about because that piece is no longer. 

Let the reunions continue!!!

I heard about the shooting right after my lunch break.  Immediately I wondered about my mom and brother..  they are safe.  Thank heavens.

I grew up in Central Texas.  I come from a military family.  I know Fort Hood like the back of my hand.  I knew where the the buildings were, the size, I've been in Darnall more times than I can count.  I was born there, my sister was born there... I've visited friends having babies there.. in high school we picked up "free dates" on tank Destroyer...

My nerves are raw, and my blood pressure up.

I know now how it must have felt when we endured Luby's (I knew my family wouldn't be there) and then I thought about staying home watching the Branch Davidian thing going on--   So many emotions.. Luby's doesn't seem like it's been almost 20 yrs ago- it seems like yesterday.

Today, that seems like a dream...

But tonight, I thank my Heavenly Father that my family.. my mom and brothere... are safe.  I thank Him that all my friends are safe, their families also.  I send up prayers to teh families affected, and those who lost someone, who were in the mayhem... where I grew up was a big town, but we were a tight community.  And we are a strong one also.

Please keep Central Texas, Copperas Cove, Fort Hood, Killeen, Harker heights & other small towns surrounding,  in your thoughts and prayers.

For the 1st time since the whole "try-to-have-a-baby-drugs-needles-hormones-spermcounts-eggcounts" drama that has enclosed my live for more than 5 years now, I love my body.  It seems it can work.  I'm not sure what I've done.  No drastic amounts of weight have been lost- like what I was told to do.  I haven't become gym-goddess like I've planned (and have been failing.)  I have been active... I have been better at making sure I eat all my meals- even breakfast (go me!!)

However, this past weekend, despite my, once again, blowing off all doctor's orders, Imy body showed me that it can work.  Like a normal body should.

Body: 1

Doc: 0

Latest pictures- we were wearing masks over our faces.  N tried to hold his breath (which didn't work so well- too many miles of smoke.)

Mel92609

He hates it when I call him a little boy.  But as I was waiting for him to clean up to hit the road to head towards Missoula to finally have his birthday meal at Red Robin (he was so sick on his actual day & hospital visit too) he made me smile.  Big.

He told me I looked gorgeous.

I wonder if he heard me complaining about "old lady hair" after my cut (I'm going to grow it out again- why is it most of the time they style your hair after a cut like your 30 yrs older than you are?!) 

Anyhow, after washing and styling myself I decided it was okay- and even put on makeup. I'm not by any means a girly-girl.  I rarely wear makeup, but I was feeling the need to.

So I took a picture to remind myself that I am indeed worthy of the term "gorgeous."

I'm so vain.

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My memory might be failing.  It's getting harder and harder to remember you as a baby.  However, I do remember my heart swelling so much I thought it would burst.  A head full of black curls, big blue eyes, and this little half smile that made me melt. 

Your hair is lighter now, those eyes sparkle so much more, and that smile can still make me melt.  My heart?  Well, I'm constantly amazed that it doesn't burst each and every day.

You have grown into such a great young man.  11 yrs old, and I can't hardly believe that you are a 5th grader... where I was when I can vividly recall memories.  Next year it's junior high...

I love that you still hold my hand, or give me a kiss good night.  I love that you aren't afraid to tell me you love me in front of your friends.  I love our games & silly song adventures.

XOXOXOX more than all the air particles on earth.  -Mama

Our garden did pretty good!  We learned a lot from it this year.

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  Especially since it was my biggest garden attempt ever.  15X30!

So we plucked and weeded, ate and grumbled over critters and people taking our yumminess.  However!  Yesterday we spent the afternoon canning!  Got so much stuff and I'm super excited!  Joe's mom came up to help refresh my memories of what I was to do, and with a friend- it was 3 us us busy in the kitchen.

Planning on doing up some more salsa sometime this week- I certainly have PLENTY of green tomatoes to help with this!  :)

I nearly passed out today.  That got the attention I needed, and now I have you know what scheduled.

I won't get into gross things- but yeah.

One of my closest friends had their 4th baby today.

Stab in the heart of happiness.

"Everything happens for a reason" is getting really old.  Really painful.  Really "Ground Hog's day."